King of the Monsters: This Time In Space!

Godzilla #12
“The Beta-Beast!”
Doug Moench and Herb Trimpe

Plot Synopsis
Godzilla gets abducted by space aliens to fight in some pointless war or something.
…
Yeah, that’s pretty much it.

Rolling Commentary
Page 3. I kind of think Dugan and Gabe should get their own romance special. I mean, take a look at this dialogue (boded as it appears in the comic):

DUGAN: Look, Gabe, you think I like belly-achin’ all the time?! Puttin’ on the crusty act is the only way I know how to get through! Besides, it saves a lot of grief!
GABE: You mean…?
DUGAN: Of course-- And I figured you’d know it by now. My act may be convinin’-- but I ain’t really afraid of that kid upstagin’ me… In fact, I kinda like him—he’s got spunk. And that makes me all the more afraid of what might happen to him next.
GABE: Yeah, Dum Dum… I think I know what you mean.

It’s sweet, isn’t it?
Also, Rob totally needs to get over himself.

Page 4. Random aliens who speak in vague, hushed tones?

Page 7. Yeah. You know things have gotten lame when you have Godzilla floating through space to fight some random space monster we don’t care about…

Page 9. Wheee! Monster violence!

Page 13. Alien dudes, you really should have thought this through better. Godzilla is nobody’s bitch. And how do they know Godzilla’s name? And speak English?

Page 14. You guys call your planet “Beta”? Why not call it “Second-Place” or “Looserville” and cut out the middleman?
Wait, the other team is “Megan”? What, they couldn’t use a cool girl’s name like Tamara or something?
… Alien dinosaurs. Huh. I can’t decide if that’s lame or amazing.

Page 15. Why are these losers attacking the Earth? Honestly? Shouldn’t, I don’t know, the Kree or the Shi’ar have something to say? And wouldn’t it make more sense to use both the Beta-Beast and Godzilla against your bad guys, rather than have Godzilla kill the other one? *sigh* Aliens are dumb.

Page 17. Red Ronin’s the second most powerful thing on the planet? Really?

Post Mortem
Hmm. Well, monster battles are still fun, but the plot is starting to get, well, a little stupid. Alas, I suppose that’s to be expected. Godzilla stories really are all about the destruction, so I suppose I’ll sit through all this and rock it out. Still, I really like the serious SHIELD stuff they’ve been doing (although it can get a little campy, and I HATE the kid), and I’m a little worried that we’re going to get away from that with the space alien stuff.

But at least I got the super violent monster battle I was missing last issue! Yay!

King of the Monsters #11

Godzilla #11
“Arena For Three!”
Doug Moench and Herb Trimpe

Plot Synopsis
It’s Godzilla versus Yetrigar versus Red Ronin in the middle of the Grand Canyon! Oh, and I guess some random tourists are there too. Meh.

Rolling Commentary
A full plot recap? Man, we’ve been mercifully free of those until now. Alas.

Page 3. Gosh, kid, who’d have thought that when you shoot at giant monsters they get pissed off and come at you?

Page 4. So, I think Rob is trying to not kill Yetrigar, similar to not killing Godzilla, right? Accept Yetrigar wants to kill them both. Yes. This will end well…

Page 5. “Especially for you girls”? Excuse me?

Page 7. How the hell can he hear a few losers 300 feet below him in his giant, expensive and very well armored robot?

Page 8. Again, with panel 1 are we trying to teach some sort of life lesson to our younger readers? The narration is a bit off putting.

Page 10. You know, I’m just not convinced that getting closer to the giant monster battle is really the best action these guys can take. Although I am rather bemused that the macho jerks are injured and the ladies seem unscratched.

Page 11. Damnit, kid! Just let nature take its course. I really hate this moron.

Page 12. Not only did this kid stop Godzilla from defending an attack upon his life, he almost killed a bunch of defenseless rafters. Oy.

Page 13. Yes, who would have thought that firing a giant laser at Godzilla might make him angry with you? That's like twice in one issue that something that stupid happens.

Page 16. Finally, the kid starts talking sense!

Page 17. Gabe Jones is the kind of character that I feel like I should like, because of his stance on animal rights, but I really wish he would shut up.

Post Mortem
Okay, I enjoyed the battle, and I’m glad the little brat realized that he had no choice if he really, really wanted to end this. And Godzilla was surprisingly… forgiving of Red Ronin, wasn’t he? If anything, Godzilla was to passive in this battle. He kind of stood there and got beaten up, didn’t he? I’m not at all sure I approve of that.

I really, really hate that kid. He irritates me to know end. I hope Dugan takes immediate action to discipline Woo for letting that little bastard get out of his sight.

I need more Godzilla smashing action, I think. Let’s see what we’ve got.

King of the Monsters #10

Godzilla #10
“Godzilla VS Yetrigar”
Doug Moench and Herb Trimpe

Plot Synopsis
A crazy wannabe Big Foot from thousands of years ago is awoken by nuclear testing and mutates. Then it gets pissed off and decides to fight Godzilla.

Rolling Commentary
The Abominable Snowman?

Page 2. “Who knows what all the testing’ll do down there…” Foreshadowing, anyone? I think so too.

Page 3. Wow, we wasted no time with the fulfillment of that foreshadowing, did we?

Page 6. Can I nominate Agent James Woo for worst SHIRLD Agent of the Year? Please?

Page 8. That’s two Helicarriers down in less than a year. That’s pretty impressive, really.

Page 9. Oh good, now the kid is turning into a robot hook-up junkie. Lovely.

Page 10. Gah! Seriously! Now that little shit just destroyed an airplane and a hangar on a military base! When will this insanity end?!?!?

Page 13. Even in his moment of pseudo-defeat, Godzilla causes his opponent to suffer the same fate.

Page 14. Bah. Civilians.

Page 16. Ahh…. narrationless panels during a fight scene. Good stuff.

Post Mortem
Why wasn’t that child locked in a cell in the first place! Gah! Annoying children!!!!!!

Ahem. Maybe he’ll get what’s coming to him yet. We’ll see. In the meantime, let’s all look at the nice and brutal monster battle instead. I actually think this is the most brutal fight scene yet in the book, and I certainly approve. Yetrigar’s origin may seem a little flimsy, but hey, Godzilla’s origin is less than clear itself. So that’s okay with me.

Now, if SHIELD would just learn how to sedate that blasted kid…

King of the Monsters #9

Godzilla #9
“The Fate of Las Vegas”
Doug Moench and Herb Trimpe

Plot Synopsis
While continuing his tour of the American west coast, Godzilla “accidentally” breaks down the Hoover dam, sending himself rushing towards Las Vegas. Things are looking a little rough for Nevada’s golden city…

Rolling Commentary
Page 1. Godzilla comes knock-knock-knocking on Nevada’s door?

Page 2. You know, if I was standing that close to Godzilla, I really don’t think I’d be trying to snap a picture of him. And so much for the Hoover Dam, I suppose.

Page 3. Jeez. Never, ever knock over the Hoover Dam, I guess.

Page 5. Kids, take note: Never get addicted to gambling.

Page 6. Stealing federal property. Billions of dollars worth of property damage. Quite possibly hundreds of lives lost in collateral damage in San Diego and San Diego harbor. And all Dr. Takiguchi does is “sternly forgive” the little bastard!?! That child needs to be locked up in a military prison until this whole thing is over, for christ’s sake!

Page 7. Godzilla’s going to save the poor gambler from his life of throwing his money away?

Page 8. See, now you got to ask, what possessed you to try and kill something that huge with a single bullet from a tiny pistol in the first place? Dumb, dumb, dumb…

Page 11. This gambler dude needs to stop talking to the voices in his head.

Page 13. Wow. We just officially upped the death toll from “hundreds” to “thousands”, didn’t we? Still, that’s a great page. I wonder where some of this original art is, these days...

Page 14. Dude. Winslow really just needs to put a gun in his mouth and end it, doesn’t he?

Page 15. Would the telephone really still be working at this point, what with the giant monster and 200 foot tidal waves?

Page 17. Crazy mutherfucker, isn’t he?

Post Mortem
Okay, for the purposes of ease and clarity, I’m going to break this issue into two parts, the Godzilla part and the human-interest part.

Okay, the Godzilla part was okay, although nowhere near as spectacularly fun as the last three issues. It was interesting to have Godzilla affected by something bigger and more powerful than himself (i.e. nature, which the rushing dam waters clearly represent). Since Godzilla has many times been compared symbolically to America (the analogy looses something here with Godzilla in America. But it really does make sense historically in Japan.), in a sense you could argue that symbolically America is still defenseless against nature, something New Orleans would probably agree with. Still, if that wasn’t what Moench was going for, the issue doesn’t serve any real point. It’s mostly just filler, after the more plot-heavy issues before it. It isn’t really even “Godzilla destroying Las Vegas”. Most of the actual destruction is caused by the floodwaters, which, while Godzilla caused, were accidental in nature.

That being said, the waters of the Colorado River toppling Godzilla and flash-flooding Las Vegas was a really cool scene. If not particularly realistic (I don’t think the Hoover Dam is really quite that close to Las Vegas…). So that was some really nice stuff.

Now, as for the anti-gambling lesson, I have this to say: Wow. I’m sorry, but I don't care. I just do not care. I suppose Moench can “teach a lesson” about gambling if he wants- he is the writer, it is his personal prerogative. But that doesn’t mean I’ll care. This gambler guy isn’t a character we’ve ever met before, and I don’t get the impression that we’ll meet him again. So I simply don’t care, his story doesn’t really interest me. He’s just some guy with emotional problems and a gambling addition, which, in the grand scheme of the rampant destruction and flooding of Las Vegas and the loss of life that ensues, seems pretty unimportant. And he doesn’t even learn his lesson at the end, undermining the entire point of the supposed “moral tale”. It may show that “gambling is bad” but the supposed protagonist doesn’t learn this and thus goes off to continue his life of uselessness and depression. It’s not a very happy ending, and you know what? I still don’t care about him and his problems. Oy.

It’s interesting how if I have problems with an issue, I’ll discuss them at length, but if I think something is upper awesome, I’ll just say “That was cool!” and leave it at that. So Mr. Moench, if at some point you ever read this, realize that every time I don’t spend much time talking about an issue, it means I really enjoyed it. This one? Meh. The “life-lesson” is just a bit off-putting, I suppose.