Strange Adventures And Apparitions: Ridiculous Plot Edition
King-Size Annual! X-Men #5
“Ou, La La Badoon!”
Chris Claremont and Brent Anderson
Synopsis
Three fourths of the Fantastic Four is captured and taken to Arkon’s dimension by the evil Badoon! So, Sue Richards goes to the X-Men for help, and they all go to Space-Conan’s world to fight the greasy lizards. Oy.
Rolling Commentary
Ah, sexism in comics. Of course Susan is the one who’s cooking and wearing the apron. *Sigh* Stupid title too, but I guess we’ll see the Badoon here.
Page 2. What does she even see in Richards, seriously? Is it money or something? I mean, Namor has money. And an undersea kingdom he rules over. How many times has Richards gone bankrupt?
Page 3. I guess normal police calls never occur outside the Baxter Building.
Page 6. The Badoons are kind of jerks, aren’t they? But must we really go back to Arkon’s world? Really?
Page 10. Sue couldn’t have called the X-Men ahead of time? And Salem Center’s not all that far from Manhattan. What did she do, walk?
Page 11. Moira’s still at the mansion. I guess. Meh. And Christ, Charlie, Lilandra’s in danger once a freaking week. It’s what happens when you’re a space empress.
Page 12. … Wow. There are all kinds of things wrong with that costume. Kitty can be quite the exhibitionist. I guess.
Page 15. Man, these guys are the worst warrior race ever.
Page 16. I know whatshername is going to be right and Wolverine wrong in the end, but I think Wolverine’s reaction is the reasonable one. And is this plot kind of crappy, or is it just me?
Page 17. Perhaps someone should tell the Badoon that torture is not an effective way of obtaining reliable information.
Page 18. It’s good to see Claremont portraying Susan as the smart, confident, and put together woman she is. Wait…
Page 21. Well there goes the plan. Is Reed in pain? Can Reed even feel pain, what with his elasticity?
Page 22. How did Sue’s costume fit under there!? Seriously?
Page 23. Wow, the “Monster of Badoon”. Really? That’s the best the art department could come up with? Geesh.
Page 27. “Nothing can stop Colossus!” Next panel: Something stops Colossus! It’s like a bad sci-fi movie or something.
Page 29. Wow, that Badoon monster isn’t particularly bright.
Page 31. I know this won’t be a problem in the actual comic book, but has anyone considered that if you break the transit gate, all the Badoon there have no way to leave so you’ve no choice but to fight them? Cyclops really isn’t nearly the strategist he pretends to be. And where were these hordes of warriors when the Badoon first invaded, huh?
Page 33. Why is it that all species have weapons that look pistols? Seriously, both the Shi’ar weapons and the Badoon weapons have pistol handles. Stereotypical pistol handles from a freaking western flick. What’s up with that?
Page 34. It’s a good thing the Badoon’s self-destruct sequence is ridiculously complicated so that Reed has time to figure out a way to stop it. It’s not as if a series of remote-activated explosive charges would have done the same job faster and more efficiently or something.
Page 35. Well I’m glad that worked, even if it did bring a few fundamentals of science.
Page 36. Considering the long and drawn out battle that the Warlord suggests, they’re a very well dressed and clean group of warriors.
Page 39. Umm… ok. I didn’t really get an “I’m in love with you” vibe from these two before, but okay then.
Post Mortem
Blarg.
I don’t know about anyone else, but I really just could not get into this issue. First up, Arkon’s race is nowhere near as cool as they try to portray them. And the Badoon have always been lame. They're really, really bad at conquering things (except in the future, when they’re hardcore motherfuckers. But that’s like 300 years in the future, and right now they suffer from bad management). You can tell a species of aliens is totally lame because the Badoon conquered them. The Badoon are a snooty bunch of would-be badasses with an air of self-importance and ego who are actually really pathetic. Sort of the intergalactic version of the French, really (hah!).
The Badoon are hardly the only offenders, though. The Fantastic Four are spectacularly ineffective during most of this issue, with the portrayal of Sue being particularly offensive (to me at least). She spends the entire god damn annual standing around crying and screwing up things- in short, Claremont portrays her as a useless housewife. First, this is horribly out of character (I feel, but anyone can debate me if they like). Sue may be the subtlest of the FF in terms of powers, but she is arguably the most powerful (the argument here being between Sue and Johnny on this front). I really don’t care for this version at all. Not only that, but how stereotypical can this be? Was Sue shown like this to counterbalance Storm’s general level-headedness in the heat of battle? It just bothers me.
Hey, remember how these Badoon were somehow a threat to the Shi’ar too? Meh. Apparently not anymore. Plot holes? What plot holes?
This annual just really disappointed me and irritated me, I guess. Especially after the joycore factor of X-Men #150, this is just bland, annoying storytelling. Let’s throw a bunch of space alien stupid stuff (that makes no sense thematically with the point of the X-Men) altogether at once, just for laughs! And hey, we’ll put the Fantastic Four in there too! We’ll sell millions!
Bah. Wake me when something interesting/important happens.
“Ou, La La Badoon!”
Chris Claremont and Brent Anderson
Synopsis
Three fourths of the Fantastic Four is captured and taken to Arkon’s dimension by the evil Badoon! So, Sue Richards goes to the X-Men for help, and they all go to Space-Conan’s world to fight the greasy lizards. Oy.
Rolling Commentary
Ah, sexism in comics. Of course Susan is the one who’s cooking and wearing the apron. *Sigh* Stupid title too, but I guess we’ll see the Badoon here.
Page 2. What does she even see in Richards, seriously? Is it money or something? I mean, Namor has money. And an undersea kingdom he rules over. How many times has Richards gone bankrupt?
Page 3. I guess normal police calls never occur outside the Baxter Building.
Page 6. The Badoons are kind of jerks, aren’t they? But must we really go back to Arkon’s world? Really?
Page 10. Sue couldn’t have called the X-Men ahead of time? And Salem Center’s not all that far from Manhattan. What did she do, walk?
Page 11. Moira’s still at the mansion. I guess. Meh. And Christ, Charlie, Lilandra’s in danger once a freaking week. It’s what happens when you’re a space empress.
Page 12. … Wow. There are all kinds of things wrong with that costume. Kitty can be quite the exhibitionist. I guess.
Page 15. Man, these guys are the worst warrior race ever.
Page 16. I know whatshername is going to be right and Wolverine wrong in the end, but I think Wolverine’s reaction is the reasonable one. And is this plot kind of crappy, or is it just me?
Page 17. Perhaps someone should tell the Badoon that torture is not an effective way of obtaining reliable information.
Page 18. It’s good to see Claremont portraying Susan as the smart, confident, and put together woman she is. Wait…
Page 21. Well there goes the plan. Is Reed in pain? Can Reed even feel pain, what with his elasticity?
Page 22. How did Sue’s costume fit under there!? Seriously?
Page 23. Wow, the “Monster of Badoon”. Really? That’s the best the art department could come up with? Geesh.
Page 27. “Nothing can stop Colossus!” Next panel: Something stops Colossus! It’s like a bad sci-fi movie or something.
Page 29. Wow, that Badoon monster isn’t particularly bright.
Page 31. I know this won’t be a problem in the actual comic book, but has anyone considered that if you break the transit gate, all the Badoon there have no way to leave so you’ve no choice but to fight them? Cyclops really isn’t nearly the strategist he pretends to be. And where were these hordes of warriors when the Badoon first invaded, huh?
Page 33. Why is it that all species have weapons that look pistols? Seriously, both the Shi’ar weapons and the Badoon weapons have pistol handles. Stereotypical pistol handles from a freaking western flick. What’s up with that?
Page 34. It’s a good thing the Badoon’s self-destruct sequence is ridiculously complicated so that Reed has time to figure out a way to stop it. It’s not as if a series of remote-activated explosive charges would have done the same job faster and more efficiently or something.
Page 35. Well I’m glad that worked, even if it did bring a few fundamentals of science.
Page 36. Considering the long and drawn out battle that the Warlord suggests, they’re a very well dressed and clean group of warriors.
Page 39. Umm… ok. I didn’t really get an “I’m in love with you” vibe from these two before, but okay then.
Post Mortem
Blarg.
I don’t know about anyone else, but I really just could not get into this issue. First up, Arkon’s race is nowhere near as cool as they try to portray them. And the Badoon have always been lame. They're really, really bad at conquering things (except in the future, when they’re hardcore motherfuckers. But that’s like 300 years in the future, and right now they suffer from bad management). You can tell a species of aliens is totally lame because the Badoon conquered them. The Badoon are a snooty bunch of would-be badasses with an air of self-importance and ego who are actually really pathetic. Sort of the intergalactic version of the French, really (hah!).
The Badoon are hardly the only offenders, though. The Fantastic Four are spectacularly ineffective during most of this issue, with the portrayal of Sue being particularly offensive (to me at least). She spends the entire god damn annual standing around crying and screwing up things- in short, Claremont portrays her as a useless housewife. First, this is horribly out of character (I feel, but anyone can debate me if they like). Sue may be the subtlest of the FF in terms of powers, but she is arguably the most powerful (the argument here being between Sue and Johnny on this front). I really don’t care for this version at all. Not only that, but how stereotypical can this be? Was Sue shown like this to counterbalance Storm’s general level-headedness in the heat of battle? It just bothers me.
Hey, remember how these Badoon were somehow a threat to the Shi’ar too? Meh. Apparently not anymore. Plot holes? What plot holes?
This annual just really disappointed me and irritated me, I guess. Especially after the joycore factor of X-Men #150, this is just bland, annoying storytelling. Let’s throw a bunch of space alien stupid stuff (that makes no sense thematically with the point of the X-Men) altogether at once, just for laughs! And hey, we’ll put the Fantastic Four in there too! We’ll sell millions!
Bah. Wake me when something interesting/important happens.
posted by The Amazing Justin Palm! at 7/19/2006 04:31:00 PM
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