Strange Adventures And Apparitions #145

The Uncanny X-Men #145
“Kidnapped!”
Chris Claremont and Dave Cockrum

Synopsis
Arcade’s assistant, Miss Locke, approaches the X-Men and tells them that she has their loved ones captive. If they want them back, they’ll have to rescue Arcade. The problem? His captor is Dr. Doom.

Rolling Commentary
Dr. Doom! Everyone’s favorite villain! But will Claremont use him in an interesting and thoughtful way, or as a cackling, mustache twirling annoyance? Umm… I don’t know. I haven’t read the issue yet. I’m hoping the former, though.

Floating Head Splash Page! JLA Style!

Page 3. Oh, Jesus, not more Arcade nonsense!

Page 4. Here’s hoping Dr. Doom does us all a favor and kills Arcade before the X-Men show up to rescue him.

Page 5. I like Amanda’s little stuffed Nightcrawler.

Page 6. Jeanie’s disembodied spirit looks a little torked off there, doesn’t she?

Page 8. Wolverine remains the voice of uncompromising reason.

Page 9. Lorna’s magnetic powers look pretty awesome here. And yay for vague sex comments at the end there!

Page 11. Well, Charles, I think it’s pretty clear that Magneto’s done whatever it is mostly to just fuck with you. It seems to be working. And did I miss something last issue? When did Scott have time to be washed ashore on some island?

Page 12. Sucks to be knocked overboard, doesn’t it? And what exactly is the blindfold doing to help? It’s not like it’s tight enough to force his eyes closed.

Page 14. Storm, as much as I appreciate you bravado here, is barging into the castle of Dr. Freaking Doom such a good idea? And why even bother rescuing Arcade? Go save the hostages! Screw Arcade, he’s a dickhead! Grr…

Page 15. Doom seems awfully relaxed. I think he thinks this is funny. Seriously, Storm, Doom could totally kick your ass.

Page 17. Make demands of Dr. Doom while your teammates invade his home? Yeah. I’m thinking Storm’s planned pretty much sucks completely.

Page 20. Doom rules. Also, do you think Wolverine will put on some new pants before they go to trash Doom? And why is Doom letting a loser like Arcade work with him?

Post Mortem
Does Storm simply have no idea who she’s dealing with? Because, when it comes to really, really stupid decisions, messing with Dr. Doom is probably at least Number 2 in the Top 10 Stupid Decision Countdown. Especially invading his castle and thinking he won’t notice. Yeah. Outrageously stupid.

Why the hell are you trying to rescue Arcade anyway? Leave the bastard to rot! Go rescue your families like Wolverine said! Gah. This is Charles’ fault, isn’t it? He decided you couldn’t just leave a jerk that tried to kill you all to his well-deserved fate at the hands of Victor Von Doom. Damn you Charles! Why do you show more consideration to sociopathic killers who have some past history with you then to starving Kenyans? (See Giant Size #1) Because you’re a dick. Also, because it’s a plot device used to get the X-Men to fight Doom. Sigh.

Otherwise, Doom rocked it so hard, I was beside myself (I often am, when it comes to Dr. Doom). It’s a good issue; I just think Storm and Professor Xavier are morons. But, again, why the hell would Doom work with a loser like Arcade?

And everyone salute the return of Dave Cockrum! Told you he’d be back.